Well, it’s official. I’m not going to be able to see my fiance again until mid December. A phone call was enough to douse any hopes I had of being able to see him over the Thanksgiving Holiday or sooner…so the wasteland of waiting will continue.
I knew it was going to be hard when he moved over 400miles away to complete his studies and intern in a new position, but nothing prepares you for the reality. It’s like he took half my heart with him. I think about him constantly, want to see him, hold him, spend time together…and none of it is possible. We’ve been doing a fairly good job of not flooding each other’s inboxes or voicemail (we generally write or talk 3 times per week); but every day, sometimes incessesantly, I’ll think of him, of something he’d like, something I wish he could see…and those few moments when I was able to temporarily forget how much I miss him fade away as though they were never there.
I just became an author; had my first sales, first reviews, first interviews, first major headaches with formatting for different eBook distribution channels—essentially the end goal of years of effort…and he wasn’t here to share it. He’s in a highly competitive internship paired with an over-sized course load for another degree in grad school, and despite outside stresses, he’s finally within reach of his fitness goal & weight…and I’m not there to congratulate him. They’re landmark achievements for both of us; but the people we most want to share them with can’t be by our side.
It gives victory a rather hollow ring.
However, we’re still going strong, tackling whatever comes our way until we can be back in each other’s arms. In the meantime, I found the perfect song for us (and possibly any couple facing long distance): Jon Secada’s Want You, Miss You, Love You, which very well may become my theme music in the months ahead.
PS: As a professional end-note to my personal life, Smashwords users have already sampled both of my books, a fellow indie author loves my writing, and typing Bittersweet will resume once I’ve had dinner.